"If my heart is overwhelmed
and I cannot hear your voice
I'll hold on to what is true
Though I cannot see
If the storms of life they come
and the road ahead gets steep
I will lift these hands in faith
I will believe"
The lyrics themselves are very powerful. There is really nothing else that needs to be said because so much already has been in those few short lines. This is what I have received from this song. I hope it will be of some encouragement.
Life happens. You can't stop it. You can't prevent it. You just have to live it. Whatever may come, we just have to keep walking and remain faithful. There's not always going to be an explanation and sometimes we are going to be completely in the dark. Something may happen completely unexpected like a new promotion at work, or the dreadful alternative of being laid off. Whatever the case, we all have to walk through this thing called life.
Through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, through the mountains and valleys, we must remember to remain faithful to our Father no matter what "hand" life has dealt us. Sometimes that is much easier said than done. Believe me when I say I understand. For those of you reading that may not know, my mother passed away December 29th, 2013. Talk about life right? She was only 46 years old! I walked in on her December 26th at around 3:50pm and found her unresponsive and without a pulse. The paramedics came to the scene and, to my momentary relief, got her back. From there, the next three days were a struggle to find out what was wrong and if she would make it. One doctor would be semi-optimistic, the other would tell us to think about "the next step". We did figure out she had contracted a new strain of the Influenza Virus, Influenza B. That shut her kidneys down because her immune system was so low. Combined also with extensive CPR from several attempts to resuscitate her, her brain swelled. That is what happened to my mother. You see her immune system was so low because she figured out she had severe sleep apnea. Well after her sleep study she got a cpap machine and things were looking better. She was regaining color, she had more energy, and we thought she was on an uphill. Then out of nowhere, she's gone.
My mom never audibly heard me say goodbye or heard me tell her how much I love her. I never got to tell her one last time how awesome she was. She'll never see her grand babies. She'll never be "Granna" like she wanted to be called oh so badly. Granted, these are all physical things. I guess the proper way to say it is I WILL never get to send my son or daughter to "Grannas" house. Nor will I GET to see her face when I bring my newborn into the waiting room for the very first time. Honestly, mom probably doesn't even care right now. HA! She's dancing and rejoicing with Jesus. She's healed! She's not sick or anything because I know she is in Heaven. I would still give anything to be able to experience the rest of my life with her in it. Talk about life right?
I can't be angry with God for bringing my mom home. It's like I said, she's healed! I don't understand though. I don't understand why everyone else gets to have a mom that lives until she's in her 80's and I can't. I'm just being transparent with you guys. However, I can't lose faith. God didn't infect my mother with disease. In fact, If God gave mom the choice I know she chose heaven.
Things happen and life gets in the way. I don't have a divine revelation from God as to why this happened. I have no Holy Spirit insight. I'm just walking by faith day to day and the healing process has already begun because I refuse to let the enemy attempt to turn me away from God. When the going gets tough, I keep walking. I keep pushing forward. I lift my hands in surrender and believe in what the word of God says.
As christians, when the good things happen we must remain faithful to God. When the bad things happen, we must STILL remain faithful. When my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear your voice. I'll hold onto what is true though I cannot see. God I don't know whats going on, but I know YOU. I will lean on you to take me through this time in my life. When the storms of life they come and the road ahead gets steep. I will lift these hands in faith. I will believe. Whatever this is Father, I am going to walk through this with hands lifted high in surrender to you. I have faith that you will bring me through this. That verse is the perfect outline of completely surrendering you circumstance to God and continuing to move forward. The enemy wants to use these circumstances against us. However, WE MUST remain faithful to our Father and continue to walk even in our lack of understanding. We believe in you Father! We will follow you no matter what!
Thanks for reading!!!
I love you guys!!!